


Headingly Madness

by HeidiJames28



Category: Cricket RPF
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mild Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24673510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeidiJames28/pseuds/HeidiJames28
Summary: The night after Headingly ends with a bang. The team pieces together their memories to work out what happened.That makes this sound a lot more detectivey then it is, basically:-drunk team-Joe and Mark set up Ben and Eoin-angst-fluff
Relationships: Ben Stokes/Eoin Morgan, Eoin Morgan/Ben Stokes, Jimmy Anderson/Alastair Cook, Jos Buttler/Joe Root
Comments: 18
Kudos: 11





	Headingly Madness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [j_obsessed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/j_obsessed/gifts), [Cricket_crazy28](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cricket_crazy28/gifts).



> This was meant to be a crackfic - I'm not really sure what happened. 
> 
> Gets a tiny bit smutty, then a bit angsty, but I promise it ends happily. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it.
> 
> (if any nicknames confuse you I've listed them at the end)

Blood pounded in his ears. His heart thumped in his chest. England needed five more runs to secure the win, their highest run chase in history. Jack Leach was on strike. He slipped off his glasses and rubbed away the sweat, ignoring the remarks from the Australian skipper.

Cummins ran in, the ball flew from his hand and the crowd held its breath. Leach had managed to defend two balls from Cummins already, surely he could do a third. The ball made contact with the willow, trickling to the legside and Leachy ran. He threw himself across the crease and that was it, the scores were levelled. Leachy had scored possibly the greatest one not out in cricketing history.

The changing room was quiet, the heavy breathing and beating hearts seemed to echo throughout the room. Jos Butler was watching out the window, his shirt only half on as his nerves sky-rocketed. Joe Root was sat on the balcony, his knee bouncing. Jonny Bairstow sat next to him, his gaze down, not daring to look at the match in front of him. Eoin Morgan and Steven Finn sat in the crowd, watching, their hearts caught in their throats. Morgs had a small smile on his face as he always did when Ben was batting. Alastair Cook was in the commentary booth, not uttering a word in case something bad happened.

Ben was back down at the strikers' end, only one run needed. He could do this, the hopes of his team, the crowd, his nation were pinned on him being able to do this. He was consciously keeping his mind fixated on the ball in play. ‘Don’t worry about the next ball, or over, don’t worry about anything but here and now’ kept filtering through his mind, a strangely Irish-voice connected to the thoughts.

Cummins ran in. Ben twitched with nerves. Ball made contact with willow. The ball flew through the air, heading towards the boundary and the nation held its breath. The crowd went up in cheers, the noise hitting Ben like a wall of sound. He had done it, he had managed to take England from an almost certain loss to an impossible win.

Rooty jumped up, rushing into the changing room, wanting to get out and thank Stokesy. Jos was standing inside, his shirt fully on now, a beaming smile spreading across his face. Joe kissed him passionately, he couldn’t help it; he was ecstatic and Jos just looked so amazing. Jos intertwined their fingers, rubbing his hand along the metal band that rested on his finger.

“Calm down, angel,” Jos muttered, his voice soft and sweet. The rest of the boys ignored them, they had been used to displays like this since they had got engaged and they all knew that Joe managed to get so excited that he worked himself up sometimes. “Come on, let’s go see Ben.”

Joe jumped up and down happily, pulling Jos by his arm. He was practically vibrated with enthusiasm as he dragged his fiancé down the stairs and towards the pitch. Jos squeezed his hand tightly one last time, letting go before they made it to the pitch.

Joe sped up, walking across the pitch, surrounded by the team and staffs. Paul Collingwood reached Stokesy first, wrapping him up tightly in a hug. Root stood at the side, waiting as the rest of the team congratulated Stokesy.

The boys moved aside, letting their captain wrap Stokesy in a tight hug. “Take this moment and enjoy it. Embrace it.” Rooty murmured in his ear, the atmosphere of the ground was incredible and he wanted to make sure Stokes soaked it all up.

The big screen showed a replay of the final ball and Stokesy turned, tucking his head into Broady’s neck to avoid watching it. Stu wrapped an arm around Stokesy’s shoulder, squeezing tightly before pushing him away.

Ben raised his bat, glancing over to where he knew Eoin would be sat watching him. He walked off the pitch with his head held high, ready to sit down and have a few pints with his boys.

* * * * *

It was three hours later, the boys were lounged around the dressing room, beers in their hands. The staff had ordered them a Maccies and the wrappers were scattered around the room. Most of the boys were wankered, having had a few too many beers in celebration.

Ben was giggling with Mark as they re-enacted the final over for the thirtieth time that night. Eoin kept trying to catch Ben’s eye but he was resolutely not looking at him. Joe watched them, a suspicious look in his eyes. Jos rolled his eyes, not believing Joe’s instance that they secretly loved each other.

Jos jumped up from his seat, grabbing two beers from the cooler. “Here you go, darling.” Popping the cap of the bottle, Jos handed his fiancé a drink, pecking him on the cheek.

“Howz thattttttttttttttttt!” Jonny Bairstow shouted, turning to Chris for support. Joe had wrapped his hand around the body of the bottle, leaving the bottom unprotected.

“Out,” Woody shouted from across the room before Jos or Joe had a chance to respond. Joe giggled, lifting the bottle to his lips and chugging the contents.

“Jossy,” Joe turned, batting his eyes at the taller blond. “Can I have another please?”

Jos tried to refuse, but, in the almost fifteen years they had known each other and the two years they had been dating he has never been able to say no to the other. Jos handed Joe a bottle and the rest of the night was an amalgamation of hazy memories.

* * * * *

Jos groaned, his head pounding and his stomach rolling as he woke. His eyes fluttered open and he looked around for the source of whatever woke him up. Joe was fast asleep next to him, clinging like a limpet to his chest, head tucked into the cruck of his neck.

Jos patted his arm across the bed, trying to find his phone. It was ringing loudly and Joe was making angry huffs into Jos’s skin. “What?” Jos groaned after finding his phone.

“What the fuck happened last night?” An angry Irish-voice snapped down the phone.

Jos pulled the phone away from his ear, glancing over at the clock and knocking his shoulder to wake Joe up. “Eoin, it’s half-ten and I’m hanging out of my arse, what do you want?”

“Last thing I remember last night, was you ripping Jos’s shirt off and wearing it like a bandana. I’ve woken up this morning, completely naked in Ben’s bed.” Eoin hissed down the phone.

“Morgs, why are you shocked? It happens every time you go on a night out together.” Joe was now awake, his eyes bleary as he looked at Jos in confusion. Jos leant forward, pecking Joe on the nose and shaking his phone slightly in explanation.

“That’s not the problem, Joseph!”

“Okay, okay, okay, calm down Eoin and explain what’s wrong,” Jos spoke, his voice soothing.

“I don’t remember any of last night but this morning I woke up with a naked Ben in my bed and a gold ring on my finger.”

“I’m sorry,” Jos stuttered, sitting up on the bed in shock. “You have a what on your what.”

“I have a fucking ring on my finger.” Eoin whisper-shouted. “I’m now hiding in the bathroom and panicking. What the hell happened last night?”

“I have no clue, I don’t remember anything after the walk to the club. Give me a sec,” Jos pulled the phone away from his ear and glanced over at Joe, who had curled up trying to go to sleep. “What do you remember from last night, coz Eoin’s woken up with a ring on his finger and Ben in his bed?”

Joe’s eyes snapped open in confusion. “Don’t remember much after downing that bottle, just flashes of dancing and walking. Did you say a ring?” Joe sat up sleepily, a strange trace of guilt in his gaze. Jos looked at him with suspicion but otherwise didn’t say anything to him.

“Joey doesn’t remember anything, have you called the others, see what they remember?” Jos suggested, pushing himself backwards until he was sitting against the bedframe.

“I don’t wanna have this conversation fifteen more times.” Eoin groaned, a large bang sounding through the phone as he slammed his head back against the bathroom cabinet.

“Eoin, you need to find out what happened last night,” Jos reasoned, “at least wake Ben up and see what he knows. If he can’t remember, call the lads and we’ll set up a meeting.”

“Okay, I’m gonna go face the fire. I’ll text you later.”

“Bye Morgs, I hope everything’s okay.” Jos’s voice broke slightly on the last word as Joe leant forwards and pressed light kisses against the dark bruises on Jos’s shoulders from the night before. Jos quickly hung up the phone and turned his dark gaze on his fiancé. “What do you think you’re doing, my angel?”

Joe moaned at the dominating toned, smiling cheekily as he grabbed Jos’s shoulders and shifted so he was straddling the older boy, his thighs spread obscenely due to Jos’s muscles. “Would you prefer me to stop?” Joe teased, pressing a gentle kiss to Joe’s lips and pulling away slightly, moving to get off his lap.

“Don’t even think about it.” Jos’s voice came out a dark growl, flipping Joe over and pushing him into the bed. “Did no-one teach you it was rude to tease?”

Joe just let out a whimper, bucking up helplessly into Jos. Jos leant down, crushing his lips to Joe’s, possessing him mind, body, and soul. “Maybe I should teach you a lesson then.” Jos rolled his hips into Joe’s, smirking widely as his eyes rolled back and his hips bucked again.

Joe was breathing heavily, trying to form sentences but not managing much more than “Jos”, “fuck”, and “please” out, interspersed with high pitched whines. Jos took pity on his fiancé, wrapping his hand around his throat and squeezing lightly. Joe gulped, moaning loudly, bucking his hips, begging for more.

Jos slipped two fingers into Joe’s mouth. “Go on and suck, baby, get them nice and wet.” Jos murmured in his ear. “Good boy.” Jos pulled his fingers from Joe’s mouth, receiving a whine when Joe was left empty. He trailed his hand slowly down Joe’s abdomen, chuckling softly when his muscles tensed in expectation. “You a little excited, baby?” Joe nodded, letting out a half-scream when Jos teasingly trailed his fingers over his aching cock before gently pushing against his hole.

* * * * *

Joe was lying on his back, almost an hour later, panting heavily as Jos went to the bathroom to get a wet cloth. He let out a pathetic noise when Jos walked back in wearing only his boxers, his thighs tensing beautifully as he walked. Jos laughed at him, running the cloth against his stomach and hole removing the now-cooling cum. Jos’s phone beeped a few times in a row and he reached across to grab it, laughing at Joe who sat up to glance over his shoulder at the screen.

**10:46 Irish to Utter Twats**

_Ben doesn’t remember anything after the club either, think we’re gonna need to bring the boys in._

**10:52 Irish**

_Oi_

**11:08 Irish**

_There better be a good reason you’re not responding right now._

**11:24 Irish**

_Jos, I’m really panicking now, I’ve messaged the boys for a team meeting after lunch, they don’t seem happy but I don’t really have a choice._

**11:25 Wicket**

_Shit sorry, Eoin. Joe and I got a little bit distracted after the phone call._

**11:25 Irish**

_I may have just married Ben but can’t fucking remember and you two are getting your rocks off. Fucks sake._

**11:26 Puppy**

_I’m really sorry, Eoin, it was my fault. Should have been more considerate._

**11:27 Irish**

_It’s fine just tell the boys they need to be there okay. Non-negotiable._

**11:27 Wicket**

_I will, you know Joey hates telling them to do things on their days off._

Joe smiled at his fiancé, pecking him on the cheek in thanks as Jos clicked off their group and selected the cricket chat. His phone kept bleeping, messages coming in from all the boys on the chat.

**11:25 Ice-Man to Cricket**

_Hey boys, sorry to do this but can we all have a meeting at about 1-ish, just some things we need to discuss._

**11:25 Geordie**

_Woah, what’s up boss-man you never call us in. We in trouble or summit?_

**11:25 J-Roy**

_It’s our day off, I was planning on dying in bed for the rest of it._

**11:26 Bilbo**

_What he means to say is, of course, Skip, hope everything’s alright?_

**11:26 J-Roy**

_Yeah, something like that._

**11:27 Just Tall**

_What’s up, Eoin? I’ll be there got, nothing better to be doing._

**11:27 Tall and Lanky**

_Excuse me, Stuart. We were meant to spend the day cuddling._

**11:27 Tall and Lanky**

_Of course, we’ll be there though Morgs, just name a time and place._

**11:27 Ice-Man**

_Thanks, guys. Chris, are you and Jonny alright to come?_

**11:28 Blushy**

_Sorry lads, we’ve just woken up (obviously I mean Jonny, I’ve been awake for hours) but as soon as I can drag him out of bed and into the shower we’ll be there._

**11:29 Grumpy**

_Christopher, way too much information. No-one needs to know what you and Jonny are up to._

**11:29 Blushy**

_Wait no, I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that he only wakes properly with a shower._

**11:29 Blushy**

_Wait that didn’t sound much better, did it?_

**11:30 Yorkie**

_Babe, he’s just teasing you everyone knew what you meant. I’m awake now, what do you guys want?_

**11:31 Yorkie**

_Also, Jimmy, don’t talk to me about TMI, I’m still scared from the time I walked into our bedroom and found you and Alastair in a very compromising position._

**11:31 Chef**

_Okay boys, no need to turn this into a competition. Jimmy’ll be there, I’ll tag along as well._

**11:32 Number One Test Batsman**

_Jossy and I will be there, where’d you wanna meet?_

**11:33 Number One Test Batsman**

_Wait, who changed my name again?_

**11:33 Thighs and the Eyes**

_That would be me, sorry angel._

**11:34 Puppy**

_Stop changing my name, Jos and don’t call me that in public._

**11:35 Thighs and the Eyes**

_Sorry, Joseph, it won’t happen again ;)_

**11:40 Ice-Man**

_Okay, we’ll meet at the ground, we can use one of the meeting rooms to talk._

**11:42 Specs**

_Sorry, I’m late lads, I was asleep. Are we in trouble or something Eoin?_

**11:43 Ice-Man**

_No-ones in trouble, just need to talk to you guys. Meet you guys at 12:45 at the ground, alright?_

**11:45 Thighs and the Eyes**

_*thumbs up*_

**11:45 Puppy**

_*thumbs up*_

**11:45 Chef**

_*thumbs up*_

**11:46 Grumpy**

_*thumbs up*_

**11:46 Blushy**

_*thumbs up*_

**11:47 Yorkie**

_*thumbs up*_

**11:47 Geordie**

_*thumbs up*_

**11:49 Just Tall**

_*thumbs up*_

**11:50 J-Roy**

_*thumbs up*_

**11:50 Bilbo**

_*thumbs up*_

**11:50 Roar**

_*thumbs up*_

**11:51 Oldie but Goldie**

_*thumbs up*_

**11:51 Tall and Lanky**

_*thumbs up*_

**11:51 Joffrey**

_*thumbs up*_

**12:17 Blushy**

_Hold up. Why am I called Blushy? I don’t blush._

**12:18 Geordie**

_Coz you blush every time someone says something remotely nice about you. One time, I said you bowled well and I thought your cheeks were going to spontaneously combust._

**12:19 Yorkie**

_Can confirm he’s blushing now. Thanks, Mark :)_

* * * * *

Jos and Joe walked into the meeting room to find Ben and Eoin sitting on different sides of the tables, staring at their phones and not talking to each other. Joe glanced at Jos before rolling his eyes and walking over to Ben. “Talk to him,” he whispered, flicking his eyes over to Eoin in annoyance. Ben glanced up at him, his eyes red. He looked pitiful and Joe’s heart bled for him. Joe knew that Ben had a massive crush on Eoin, had done for years now, and he knew that Eoin’s disgust of the situation must be hurting Ben really badly.

Joe opened his mouth to comfort Ben when the rest of the boys piled into the room, all in various states of hungover. Mark and Jonny led the pack, making copious amounts of noise as Woakesy trailed behind them, cradling a cup of coffee, his usual cheery smile spread across his lips. Bilbo and Jason walked in next, holding hands before slumping into the first chairs they found, Sam’s arm easily making its way around Jason’s shoulders. Steven and Stuart came in next sitting next to Jos and Eoin, Finny swinging his legs onto Eoin’s lap as soon as he was able. Jof, Rory, Denners, and Jack followed them in with Ali and Jimmy came in last. Jimmy’s hair was tousled as if the pair had been doing more than just talking in the hall.

Joe wrapped his arms around Ben’s waist and buried himself in his side, trying to give him comfort without drawing attention to his misery. “Is everything alright, skip? Gotta be pretty bad to call us all in,” Mark asked, glancing at the two gingers with suspicion and pity in his eyes.

“It’s not that bad, just need to ask you guys what you remember from last night?” Eoin spoke, his calm-cool-collected faced falling into place. “I don’t remember much from last night and we’re trying to fill in the blanks.”

The boys all began speaking, all going over each other, speaking loudly and causing Eoin’s head to begin pounding immediately. “Lads,” Ben’s voice interrupted to boys, his voice cracked as he spoke for the first time in a couple of hours. “One by one go round the room, say what you remember from last night. You can go after you’ve told us.”

“We’ll start with Jason coz he does look like he’s about to vomit everywhere.” Joe laughed, J-Roy was holding his head in his hands and his skin was turning ashier and ashier as the time stretched on.

“I legit don’t remember anything after the changing room and before waking up this morning,” Jason responded, leaning forward and clutching his stomach, resting his head on Sam’s shoulder.

“I ended up taking him home at like 1 a.m. after he tried punching his own reflection in the bathroom because apparently it offended him,” Sam responded, chuckling as he thought back to the previous night.

\-----flashback-----

Sam stumbled through the club, passing Chris and Jonny who were dancing provocatively in the middle of the dance floor and Joe and Jos who were making out heavily against the wall. He accidentally bumped into Ben and Eoin whilst they were in the middle of a heated debate by the bar.

“Have you guys seen Jase?” Sam shouted above the music, “he disappeared like twenty minutes ago and I haven’t seen him since.”

Ben turned his stormy gaze from Eoin to Sam and nodded in the direction of the bathroom. “Thanks,” Sam muttered, heading towards the bathroom and thinking nothing of the argument he had interrupted.

“Yo Jase you in here,” Sam shouted as he pushed open the bathroom door. He laughed, startled, as he saw Jason squaring-up to a mirror, one fist raised. “What are you doing, babe?”

“He insulted me,” Jason slurred, his speech had become unclear about eleven drinks ago and he probably should have stopped drinking about twenty minutes before.

“How on earth did he offend you?” Sam moved towards Jason, pulling him away from the mirror.

“He smiled at me, I told him I had a boyfriend but he was still trying to flirt with me.” Sam’s heart melted at the sight of his boyfriend, trying to fight himself to protect Sam.

“He apologises babe, but, come on we should probably go home.” Sam pulled Jason away from the mirror and out of the bathroom.

“Skip, we’re going home coz he can barely stand,” Sam shouted at Joe as he walked passed. Jason was leaning heavily against Sam’s side, his eyes slowly blinking closed. Sam dragged him out of the club, smiling at the boys who were still left.

\-----end of flashback-----

Jason’s cheeks pinked as Sam told his story, “I think I vaguely remember but I could have sworn I was arguing with a real person.”

The boys all laughed, even Ben, who appeared to have cheered up slightly with the story. “By that point, Jof, Stuart, Finny, and Leachy had all gone,” Sam explained, standing up and helping Jason out of his seat. “Was nice to see you guys, but, I’m gonna get some greasy food in this one and go back to bed.”

After Sam walked out the door, Jofra stood pushing his shorts down from where they had moved upwards as he sat. “Sorry I can’t be more help guys, but, we’ve got to drive back down to Sussex tonight, we’ve got training in the morning.” Rory stood up with him, smiling at his team and saying goodbye before grabbing his back and following Jof out of the room.

“You guys can go as well, thanks for coming in,” Morgs spoke, motioning towards the boys that had left before Bilbo and J-Roy. Leachy, Stuart, and Finny all stood up and began walking out of the room, giving the boys a hug as they went.

“Alright, so just us to work out what happened at the end of last night,” Joe said, glancing around the room at the boys. He caught Mark’s eyes, sending him a questioning glance and gaining a shake of the head in response.

Ali stood up, shaking his head a smiling at Jimmy who jumped after him eager to leave the room. “We never went out with you so don’t see what help we can be. We would stay but we’re driving back to Lancashire in a couple of hours and we need to finish packing.”

Jimmy and Ali headed towards the door when Jimmy suddenly stopped and turned back to the group. “Has absolutely nothing to do with us but I did learn a little bit of information about a certain couple of Australian cricketers last night if any of you want to know?”

Joe and Mark perked up like a pair of dogs and sent their best puppy-dog-eyes to Jimmy. “Please tell us, we want to know,” Joe begged, his eyes lighting up at the thought of gossip.

Jimmy laughed lightly, reaching forward to ruffle Joe’s hair. “I was walking back from the Aussie’s changing room yesterday,” Jimmy began.

\-----flashback-----

Jimmy was walking down the corridor, heading back to the England dressing room after the usual post-series drinks with the opposing team. He turned a corner and came face-to-face with two Australians leant against the door with their lips interlocked. “Don’t mind me boys, just heading back.”

The Aussies leapt apart from each other, blushing and stammering to come up with an excuse. “It’s not what you think,” Smith stuttered, biting his lip and looking down in embarrassment.

“It’s exactly what I think,” Jimmy responded, “don’t worry I’ve been with my captain for ten years, I understand.”

“Really?” Paino responded, bewildered. “Never would have guessed, you two don’t seem like a couple.”

“I know people that would genuinely cry at hearing you say that.” Jimmy laughed lightly, thinking back to Swanny’s complaints about the couple at the start of their relationship. “Anyway, I gotta get back before they notice I’m missing. It’s been a good series, see ya round.”

Steve and Tim stood in shock, not only had Jimmy Anderson smiled at the couple and been polite, they hadn’t seen him scowl at all, he almost seemed happy. “Was that an imposter or something?” Tim whispered to Steve, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards their dressing room.

\-----end of flashback-----

“Wait!” Mark shouted, “Steve Smith and Tim Paine were smacking lips in the corridor, how scandalous.”

“Pay up Ben, you owe me twenty.” Joe held his hand out for the money as Ben sighed, shoving his hand in his pocket and pulling out a crumpled note. “I told you those two were shacking up.”

Cooky laughed at the boy's shocked expressions, pulling Jimmy out of the room and slipping his hand into Jimmy’s. “You think everything’s alright with them?”

“I’m sure they’ll be fine, love. Joey’s probably just lost his wallet or something and is worried about getting it back,” Jimmy answered, trying to soothe his boyfriend's fears.

Back in the room, Eoin turned to stare at Jonny and Chris, two of the only boys left in the room. “Please tell me you guys remember something.”

“Sorry skip, I don’t remember anything weird. We danced and then went home at like threeish, nothing strange happened. You all seemed alright when we were leaving.” Jonny spoke, draining the rest of his coffee and walking out of the room, Chris stood up to follow him.

“Don’t know if this is what you’re looking for Skip, but, I did overhear Mark and Joe talking about going to some registry office maybe they know something.” Chris smiled, his cheeks turning pink before spinning on his foot and leaving.

“That boy,” Jos muttered, shaking his head. Chris had been sitting in the meeting room for almost half-an-hour thinking that planning on going to a registry office at three in the morning was a completely normal, non-strange occurrence. “Wait, why were you and Mark talking about it, angel?”

Joe turned to Mark, “you don’t think?”

“We can’t have,” Mark responded.

“We weren’t drunk enough to, surely.”

“Although, I can’t remember anything so maybe we did.”

“No, that would be madness.”

“Absolute insanity.”

“So of course, something that both of you would do,” Eoin butt in, stopping Mark and Joe’s strange conversation. “Explain.”

“What did you two do?” Ben sighed, burying his face in his hands and rubbing harshly across his face.

“I’m not sure that we did anything,” Joe started, his shoulders rising to his chin as he grew nervous. “But, a couple of weeks ago we were talking about Ben and Eoin. I noticed that Ben kept being really sad after night outs where you two would end up… um… fornicating.” Mark giggled slightly at the last word but sobered up when Jos turned to glare at him.

“And I pointed out that Morgs was always harsher during training afterwards as well,” Mark continued. “We just wanted to make you guys happy, but, we hadn’t fully planned on doing anything. It was just a text conversation between Joe, Finny, and I. Nothing concrete.”

“Show me the conversation.” Eoin held out his phone for Mark’s phone and Joe did the same. The pair unlocked their phones, clicked on a conversation, scrolled up, and handed them over.

**19:46 Joey-Baby to The Unholy Trinity**

_Operation BEOIN is underway_

**19:48 Joey-Baby**

_Wait has anyone thought of a plan yet._

**19:49 Marky-Mark**

_We could do tried and tested lock them in a cupboard._

**19:51 Finny-Boi**

_That would never work. They’d just ignore each other and then Eoin would kill us when he’s free._

**19:52 Joey-Baby**

_How about we arrange a dinner and then suspiciously no-one else turns up?_

**19:55 Marky-Mark**

_Wouldn’t work. They go out to dinner all the time but they’ve never talked about their feelings._

**19:56 Finny-Boi**

_Honestly, these two are helpless. I thought getting the Josephs together was hard._

**19:57 Joey-Baby**

_Oi!_

**19:57 Joey-Baby**

_Me and Jos were easy, compared to these two. I was just afraid._

**20:03 Marky-Mark**

_I suppose we could put on a fake wedding, trick them into talking and then you-know bam, they’re together._

**20:04 Joey-Baby**

_That would never work._

**20:04 Joey-Baby**

_Unless…_

**20:04 Finny-Boi**

_No._

**20:04 Finny-Boi**

_How would you even trick them into going through with that?_

**20:05 Marky-Mark**

_Yeah, stupid idea._

**20:05 Marky-Mark**

_Alright, everyone keep thinking. Message back when you’ve got an idea._

**20:06 Finny-Boi**

_LOVE YOU BOIS_

**20:07 Marky-Mark**

_LOVE YOU MORE_

**20:07 Joey-Baby**

_EEEEEEEEPPPPPPP…._

**20:07 Joey-Baby**

_I love you both more._

“Okay, you can probably stop reading there. The conversation sort of devolved from there.” Joe took his phone and lowered his eyes in embarrassment. “We were never planning on actually doing it, it was just a joke.”

“But maybe whilst we were drunk, we thought about it and decided to do it.” Mark finished. “I’m so sorry guys, but, I can’t remember any of this happening, so I can’t be sure if we did it or not.”

“Here’s a crazy idea,” Jos suggested, “why don’t we call the office and see if they performed any weddings last night.” He quickly googled the nearest twenty-four-hour wedding registry office and called the number that came up. He put the phone on speakerphone but motioned for the guys to remain silent so he could speak to the receptionist.

_Hello, you’re through to Leeds Registry Office. My name is Lucy, how can I help?_

_Hi, my friend and I went on a night out last night and we think we ended up at your establishment but we can’t quite remember. Did you perform any weddings after three a.m. yesterday?_

_I’m afraid, I can’t discuss exact details but I can inform you that one wedding was completed yesterday at 4:05 in the morning. Does this help?_

_My name’s Jos Buttler. Does that ring a bell?_

_Ah, I am breaking protocol to tell you this but you seem rather panicked. The wedding was between a Joseph Buttler and a Joseph Root with one Eoin Morgan as the witness. If that is the two of you we have been trying to contact you but your contact details were incorrect._

_Wait, the wedding was between me and Joe!_

_Yes it was. However, the officiant’s license ran out yesterday so unfortunately the wedding is not legal. If you would like to come in again and perform the ceremony again, don’t hesitate to call and book in._

_Oh thank god. Sorry about that. We were very drunk last night and rather worried about what happened._

_Yes, my colleague did mention one of the wedding party, removing the rings and forcing them onto somebody else, to and I quote ‘complete the best plan ever’._

Joe looked at Mark in shock and he groaned quietly, his eyes lighting up in horror as he remember what he had done.

_Is there anything else I can do to help you today?_

_No that’s everything, thank you so much for your time._

Jos hung up the phone, sighing in relief and turning back to the boys. “What did you do?”

Joe looked at Mark’s panic and regret and his heart bled for the man. “It was me,” Joe burst out, surprising both himself and Mark with his admission. “I completely forgot until she mentioned it. I suppose I just wanted to give them the push to admit how they really feel to each other. I didn’t think this much would go wrong. I’m so so so so sorry guys.”

Mark sat in silence, looking at Joe in shock. He shouldn’t be surprised, Joe always protects his friends and this is just another example of what makes Joe as kind and loving as he is. Joe continued speaking, “it’s so obvious how much you love each other. Ben, I’ve been you’re best-friend for years and I have never heard you talk about someone with as much love as you do Eoin. You light up every time he’s around. You do so much to help, I just wanted to return the favour.”

Eoin stared at Joe in shock, not knowing how much Ben cared about him. He tore his eyes from the blonde when he heard a chocked gasp from Ben. Stokesy was standing up, his chair had fallen to the ground behind him. He looked at Joe in betrayal and walked out of the room with Eoin chasing after him.

“Joey, I’ve told you to stop meddling before, look what you’ve done this time.” Jos shook his head in annoyance, leaning in a pressing a quick kiss to Joe’s forehead before heading towards the door. “Wait here, I’ll be back.”

Joe and Mark glanced at each other, sinking lower in their chairs. Both believed that the others currently hated them for what they had done. Mark felt so guilty that Joe had taken the blame for him and all he wanted to do was call them back in and tell the truth. Joe grabbed his arm and offered his support even his eyes had begun to well with tears.

* * * * *

“Ben wait,” Eoin shouted after the tall ginger man who was speeding walking through the halls, wanting to get away from Eoin before he could get rejected. “Wait.” Eoin grabbed Ben’s shoulder pulling him to a stop and pushing him against the wall. Ben was looking down in shame so Eoin used his forefinger to raise his chin until he was looking the Irish-man in the eye. “Was Root telling the truth about how you feel?”

“I never meant for you to find out.” Ben squeaked out, his voice rough and his throat catching in fear. “Joey was never meant to tell you.”

“I’m glad he did, Ben. I needed to know.” Ben became more nervous with Eoin’s response, not knowing what to expect now. “I love you too.”

“You don’t have to return my feelings out of pity.”

“Benjamin Stokes, if you can’t see how much I love you then you must be dumber than I thought.” Eoin leant up, crashing his lips against Ben’s, pouring his passion and love into the kiss. When Eoin finally pulled away from the kiss, Ben just stared at him in shock and confusion, not knowing how to respond. “So Sir Ben, will you be my boyfriend?”

Ben pressed his lips against Eoin’s again, murmuring yeses between kisses before Eoin ran his tongue against Ben’s lips deepening the kiss. A cough broke the pair apart as Jos Buttler was leaning against the wall laughing at them. “I see everything worked out alright.”

“Yeah maybe you’re fiancé had a slightly good idea, but don’t tell him that.” Eoin laughed, smiling up at Ben as he pulled away from him and released him from the wall. “He’ll get big-headed.”

“Oi, my baby’s perfect could never be anything but perfect,” Jos defended, “I’m glad everything worked out and sorry about his meddling.”

“It’s cool, it all worked out well in the end,” Ben smiled, “you wanna come for a cup of coffee, I could do with one after this day.”

“Yeah, let me go tell Joe and then we can go.” Jos looked at the couple as Ben wrapped his arm around Eoin’s shoulders, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“Nah let him suffer for an hour or two, that’ll teach him not to meddle in anyone’s life again,” Eoin suggested, laughing at the torn expression that covered Jos’s face. “He’ll be fine for an hour without you, I’m sure nothing bad will happen.”

“Alright let’s go.”

* * * * *

It had been almost two hours and Mark and Joe were still sitting in the meeting room, waiting. Joe had barely moved and Mark was dancing around the room trying to cheer him up and make him smile.

“Do you wanna head back to the hotel? Maybe he’s gone back to your room,” Mark suggested after his last attempt had failed to cheer the blond up.

“He said he’d be back so he’ll come back,” Joe insisted, his chest hurt and he was honestly worried that he had managed to completely ruin his relationship.

“I’m gonna get us a coffee and some food. What do you want?” Mark gave Joe a quick hug before heading towards the door.

“I’m not hungry, thanks though.” Mark left the room, knowing that when Joe was stressed he preferred not to eat otherwise he felt sick and tended to throw anything he ate back up.

A few minutes after Mark left, Joe’s phone began ringing. He jumped forwards and grabbed his phone, smiling when he saw Jos’s nickname lit up on the screen.

_Hello Angel_

_Hi Jossy_

_Sorry I didn’t come back, went to get a coffee with the new couple._

_EEEEPPPPP it worked_

_Yes babe, it worked. But that doesn’t mean you should have done it in the first place._

_I’m really sorry, Jos. I wasn’t planning on it but drunk me decided to do it._

_It’s fine, Joe, don’t worry too much. I do have to tell you something though._

_What’s up, babe?_

_Lancashire Cricket called, they’ve changed this week’s training schedule. It’s starting at seven instead of ten so I won’t be able to drive across in the mornings._

_Oh, what you planning on doing then?_

_Jimmy said I can stay with him and Ali until Friday and then I’ll come back home. If that’s okay with you?_

_Yeah course it is. Training’s important can’t afford to miss it. I’m gonna miss you though, when are you leaving?_

_Jimmy is outside the hotel now to drive back to Lancashire and he offered to take me, so I’m literally about to leave. Sorry I couldn’t come say goodbye. I’ll miss you so much, baby. Only three days and I’ll be back home._

_I suppose, I can last three days, I’ve got training on Thursday and Friday so that’ll distract me from missing you too much._

_I thought you had training tomorrow as well._

_Nah, Coach changed his mind. Gave Stokesy, Woody, and I the day off to recover. I just think he couldn’t be arsed to come in tomorrow._

Jos’s laugh tinkled through the phone, making Joe smile brightly. Woody walked back into the room, handing Joe a cup of coffee and nodding at the phone in confusion.

_Speaking of Woody, what are you two up to?_

_Oh we’re just planning on going out to get some food. Just been walking around coz we got bored._

_Alright darling, I’ve gotta go now. I’ll see you on Friday._

_I’ll miss you, babe. Love you._

_You too angel._

“What’s wrong?” Mark asked. As soon as Joe had put the phone down, his smile had dimmed and his eyes looked dead.

“Jos said their training times have changed so he’s having to stay in Lancashire with Jimmy.” Joe’s voice was duller than normal. “He said I shouldn’t worry but I’m pretty sure he’s annoyed at me.”

“Joey, he’s not going to be mad at you.” Mark wrapped Joe in a tight hug, tucking his head under his chin to give him comfort.

Tears began trickling down Joe’s cheeks and soon he was sobbing into Mark’s chest. “What if I’ve ruined everything?”

“Hey, no, you’ve not ruined anything. You and Jos are perfect together, practically soulmates, nothing’s going to tear you apart.” Mark was trying to support Joe and stop him crying but Joe seemed to cry harder.

It took almost ten minutes for Joe to stop crying and when he did his eyes were red and puffy and he looked and felt miserable. “I can text Jos and tell him it was all me.”

“It’s fine,” Joe reassured, “I’m sure it’ll all blow over by the time he’s back.” Joe stood up, wiping his eyes and grabbing his phone. “Thanks for letting me cry but I just wanna go home now.”

Mark gave Joe another tight squeeze telling him to text him when he got home safely. “See you tomorrow,” Joe muttered, leaving the room with his head hanging low.

“See ya,” Mark called after him, his chest hurt at the sight of Joe walking dejectedly out of the room.

* * * * *

It was early morning on Thursday, Joe had called in sick to training the day before not wanting to see anyone. He had spent the entire day, lying on the sofa buried under blankets and crying. He hadn’t eaten anything and his stomach kept turning, he was light-headed and tired but couldn’t find the energy to drag himself to bed and sleep.

Jos was meant to call the night before to chat but something had come up and he wasn’t able to talk. Joe was preparing himself for the moment when Jos would come back and break up with him. Every time he thought about it, his chest would tighten and physical pain would shoot through his body.

His phone was unlocked on the table, a picture of him and Jos lighting up the screen. One of the boys had sneakily taken it during practice before the world cup. They were playing football and Jos had ‘accidentally’ tripped Joe up, causing him to fall the ground, taking Jos with him. In the photo, the couple were curled up on the grass on the floor. Jos had landed on top, his arms bracketing Joe’s smaller body on the ground.

Now normally, Joe would squirm at the thought of too much PDA during training but the day had been so perfect he didn’t care. It was early on in their relationship before most of the team even knew, and Joe had been so nervous about how to act in front of Jos. The older boy had put him to ease with a blinding sunshine smile and a quick kiss on the cheek.

Joe always looked at this photo when he was sad or stressed as it reminded him of happier times but this time whenever he looked at the photo he began crying, missing Jos more than ever. He stared at the photo, not noticing when his screen dimmed and faded to black, he was stuck in memories of simpler times before he had ruined his relationship (or so he thought, in reality, Jos had fallen asleep as he got in and had absolutely no knowledge of the emotional turmoil his fiancé was currently in. He was also irritating Jimmy and Ali by constantly talking about Joe and how much he missed him).

Joe’s alarm blared, drawing him out of his stupor. He stood up, stumbling through the house as he got ready for training. He wanted to call in sick again but he was the captain he couldn’t afford to miss any more training. He just wanted to get through the day so he was one step closer to seeing Jos again.

* * * * *

Ben arrived at the stadium, parking his car and jumping out. Woody pulled in at the same time, sending Stokesy a timid smile, not sure the nature of their friendship after the almost-wedding debacle. Ben rolled his eyes, drawing Mark into a tight hug and pressing a quick kiss to his head. Mark blushed heavily, looking down at the floor in embarrassment after being released from the ginger’s hug.

“You’ll be happy to know that everything worked out perfectly. I admitted my feelings for Eoin and it turned out he felt the same for me.” Ben was still shocked that Eoin reciprocated his feelings.

“It’s almost like Joe and I have been telling you he was in love with you for like two years now.” Sarcasm was thick in Mark’s tone as he grabbed his kit bag and headed towards the dressing room.

“Yeah yeah yeah, next time I’ll listen to you.” The pair continued their fun-filled banter until they reached the dressing room. They were both stunned to silence at the view of Joe Root sitting on the bench, struggling to put his trainers on.

Joe had deep dark bags beneath his eyes and his skin looked pale and dry. His eyes were dull and lifeless and his mouth was missing his usual bright cheery smile. Even though it had only been three days since Ben and Mark had seen Joe, it looked like he had aged a decade since then.

“You feeling alright, Joey?” Mark asked, walking forward to place a hand on Joe’s shoulder, although Joe flinched away before he was able to make contact.

“Hmmmm,” Joe sounded, “sorry, I haven’t been sleeping that well.”

“Alright that’s it, you’re going home. I’ll tell the coach you’re still ill it’ll be fine.” Ben began packing Joe’s kit away, swapping his shoes out for him, and pulling a thick hoody over his chest, it was a testament to Joe’s mental state that he didn’t even argue about the treatment. In fact, his chest felt a little less empty as soon as the hoodie was on (shockingly, it was one of Jos’s hoodies that Mark had stolen ages ago).

Joe didn’t try and argue until Ben had packed his car and guided him to sit in the front seat. “No arguments, Joseph Edward Root, you’re going home right now. You’re going to get in bed and go to sleep.” Ben wasn’t taken no for an answer and stood staring at Joe until he belted up, closed the door, and drove away from the grounds.

“What do you think's wrong with him?” Ben asked, staring at Joe’s car as it disappeared into the distance.

“Jos had to go to Lancashire for training until tomorrow and Joe’s afraid that he’s ruined their relationship by trying to set you and Eoin up. He spent two hours sitting in that meeting room until Jos called to tell him and then he burst into tears, sobbing.” Mark rushed out, the guilt was eating him alive, he knew it was his fault that any of this had happened in the first place. “Joe didn’t even do anything it was me that swapped the rings but he was trying to protect me.”

Mark’s breathing became laboured as he grew more panicked, his chest heaving as he tried to breathe normally. Ben quickly pulled him into a hug, calming him instantly. “Shhh,” Ben soothed, “no-one’s angry, I’m sure nothing’s going to happen. Probably just a mixture of very bad timing and Joe overthinking. I’ll text Jos and tell him to come home tonight.”

When Mark calmed down enough for Ben to pull away, he pulled his phone out and immediately texted Jos.

* * * * *

Jos was in the car about to leave for training when his phone buzzed, he pulled it out to reveal a string of texts from Ben. A nervous pit formed in his stomach, knowing that something bad had happened to Joe.

**08:14 Ben**

_Jos, you need to come home now, Joe isn’t doing great. Had to send him home from training. Doesn’t look like he’s slept or ate since you left. Looks about two seconds away from a panic attack or breaking apart._

**08:15 Ben**

_He sat in the meeting room for two hours after we left and then started crying when you said you were to Lancashire. He thinks you hate him and want to break up with him._

**08:16 Ben**

_He looked like death warmed over. I’m not joking when I say you need to come home._

**08:17 Jos**

_WTF_

**08:17 Jos**

_No_

**08:17 Jos**

_I had training I don’t want to break up with him._

**08:18 Jos**

_He’s my soulmate, I can’t wait to marry him. I’m not going to break up with him._

**08:19 Jos**

_Give me a minute to talk to Jimmy._

Jimmy opened the car door with Ali right behind him, they both noticed Jos’s panicked, pained expression, growing worried instantly. “What’s wrong?”

“Joe thinks I want to break up with him,” Jos spoke, his voice disbelieving. He was shocked that Joe would ever think he would do something like that over a mistake. “He meddled with Ben and Eoin and thinks I’m angry enough to break up with him. Ben said he’s not doing well and that I need to go home immediately. Jimmy can you make an excuse whilst I head to the train station.”

“Don’t worry about getting a train, I’ll drive you back to yours.” Ali offered, pecking Jimmy on the cheek and pulling Jos’s bag out of the bag of Jimmy’s car and putting it in his.

“How could he think I’d do that?” Jos asked, still stunned. He swapped cars, giving Jimmy a quick hug goodbye and thanking him for letting him stay.

“You know Joe’s never been the most secure person, his mind does more damage than anyone could ever dream of doing,” Ali was trying to soothe Jos, whilst also so being terrified for the younger batsman. Joe had never had the most stable mental health and he tended to tip into depressive moods rather easily.

Jos pulled his phone out of his pocket, opening his texts with Ben back up.

**08:25 Jos**

_Okay, Ali’s driving me back. It’ll take about an hour but I’m coming home._

**08:26 Ben**

_Thank god, Woody and I were getting worried._

**08:27 Jos**

_Thanks for looking out for him Ben, you’re a good friend._

**08:27 Ben**

_Anything for you two_

* * * * *

Ali pulled up in front of Jos’s house, turning the car off before facing Jos. He placed a hand on his shoulder and drew him in for a tight hug. “Take care of him please.”

“Will do skip, thanks for everything you do for us.” Jos would have thanked him better but he was in a rush to see his little ball of sunshine again. He grabbed his bag from the back seat and rushed towards the door. He slammed the door open, dropping his bag at the door and rushing into the lounge.

“Joey,” Jos gasped, not having prepared himself to see his boyfriend, curled up on the sofa, tears streaking down his cheeks. His hair was tousled from constantly dragging his hands through it and his eyes were dead.

Joe snapped his head round to glance at the door. He saw Jos standing in the doorway, looking gorgeous. His hair product-free and fluffy and he was wearing simple training gear, but he had never looked more perfect to Joe. Joe untangled himself from his blankets, throwing himself at Jos, knowing that he would catch him.

Jos wrapped his arms round Joe’s, crashing his lips onto Joe’s. Joe melted into Jos’s embrace, tears streaming down his face faster than before. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” Joe began begging, his tone pitiful and his breathing speeding up.

“Angel, baby, doll, darling, shhhhh,” Jos soothed, picking Joe up, his legs wrapping around the keeper's waist, and carrying him to the sofa. He sat him down like he was made of glass and sat next to him on the sofa. Jos barely had time to lean back against the cushions before Joe was straddling him, burrowing himself into his chest.

“I’m not going to leave you, angel,” Jos began, running his hands down Joe’s back and sides soothingly. “I just had to go to Lancashire to train, nothing about you baby.” Joe shook his head not believing him.

“Joseph Root, look at me.” Joe pulled away from his chest, his lower lip set in a pout as he stared at his fiancé. Jos gently wiped the tears from below his eyes, pecking his lips and sending him a soft smile. “I love you more to the moon and back. When I picture my future, I can’t imagine it without you. There are seven billion people on this planet and you were made for me. I am not going anywhere, and you are not getting rid of me anytime soon. Just because you meddled in Eoin and Ben’s life does not mean that I am going to leave you. Don’t doubt me, otherwise I’ll have to prove how much I do love you.”

“How would you do that?” Joe asked, smiling hesitantly at Jos. Jos’s words had sunk in and Joe was starting to believe that he wasn’t going to be abandoned, however, he was still feeling fragile and emotional.

“I could start with this,” Jos pressed a gentle kiss to Joe’s forehead, “or this”, another kiss to his cheek, “or this”, now Jos started trailing kisses down Joe’s neck, adding little nips to his skin every so often. Joe was moaning, squirming against Jos, bucking his hips.

A loud rumble interrupted the pair and Joe blushed looking down at his stomach in embarrassment. “Is someone hungry?” Jos teased, before remembering Ben’s texts. “Have you eaten since I left?” Joe shook his head, shame filling his eyes, knowing that Jos hated when Joe didn’t take care of himself properly. “And we didn’t eat on Tuesday, which means you haven’t eaten since the Maccies on Monday.”

Normally, Jos would lecture his fiancé on the need to take care of himself but today Jos decided that Joe needed some tender loving care. “How about I adore some food, we put on a film, and cuddle for the rest of the night? We can talk more in the morning.”

“Sounds perfect,” Joe sighed. He shifted off Jos cuddling up into his side instead, allowing him to reach into his pocket and pull out his phone. Jos quickly ordered some food before pulling up his texts and firing a quick one-off to Ben.

**10:05 Jos**

_I’m back, it’s all sorted. I’ll call later and explain. Tell the coaches he won’t be in again till Monday for me, please._

* * * * *

True to Jos’s word, the couple spent the rest of the day, gorging on food and cuddling. Joe had insisted that they watch the Lord of the Rings and Hobbit films, quoting half the lines out loud. By the end of the first film, Joe’s normal sunshine smile had returned and he laughing happily, his eyes full of love and he cuddled into Jos, his eyes drooping closed as the Two Towers began playing.

**Author's Note:**

> Joe Root - Rooty - Puppy - Number One Test Batsman - Joey Baby
> 
> Jos Buttler - Jossy - Wicket - Thighs and the Eyes
> 
> Eoin Morgan - Morgs - Ice-Man - Irish
> 
> Ben Stokesy - Stokesy
> 
> Mark Wood - Woody - Geordie - Marky-Mark
> 
> Steven Finn - Finny - Finny-Boi - Tall and Lanky
> 
> Stuart Broad - Broady - Just Tall
> 
> Jason Roy - J-Roy 
> 
> Sam Billings - Bilbo
> 
> Chris Woakes - Blusy 
> 
> Jonny Bairstow - Yorkie
> 
> Jimmy Anderson - Grumpy 
> 
> Ali Cook - Chef
> 
> Jack Leach - Specs
> 
> Rory Burns - Roar
> 
> Joe Denly - Oldie but Goldie


End file.
